Director, Mr. Peters, talking to his staff
“Alright guys, we’ve got a big day ahead of us. We have 4 commercials due by 5o’clock. Luckily we’ll be working with some of the best, most experienced spokesmen in the business. These people have shot countless commercials for their products, so they’ve been around the block a time or two. If you checked your schedules, you’ll see that we have the Mr. Clean Commercial up first. Now Mr. Clean is a very by the -”
“Mr. Peters! Mr. Peters! I’m sorry to interrupt, but I just got news from the bus depot. Apparently in some sort of effort to push the “going green” aspect to the press, all of the spokesmen are bussing to the set together.”
“Well Jackson, I don’t see what the problem is. I mean, busses aren’t really the most eco-frien-”
“The bus broke down, sir. Over 6 hours ago, and we just got word. They’re doing everything they can, but it will still be at least 6 hours or more before they can be on set.”
“Jackson, this commercials have to be shot, edited and ready to go back to the companies by 5pm!”
“I know, sir, I know.”
“Well what are we going to do?!”
“Way ahead of you, sir. You see I pulled some strings and called around, and well, they may not be the intended spokesmen, but they’re all successful in what they do and are confident they can play the needed roles”
“New spokesmen?! Well…I guess at this point there’s not that many other options, are there?…bring ‘em in, Jackson, let‘s see what we‘ve got to work with”
“Okay, let’s see here. First up we have the Kool-Aid man filling in for the Mr. Clean commercial. Uh, and next up for the Pillsbury commercial-”
“The fucking Kool-Aid man, Jackson? Alright, I guess we’ll give it a try. Get Diane out here. DIANE?!”
“Yeah, Michael? You ready to start shooting?”
“Alright Diane, this is, uh, this is the Kool-Aid guy. He’s going to be filling in for Mr. Clean on this one.”
“Oh, Hello, it’s nice to meet you. I mean, I love your work. Oh! I wasn’t expecting your hands to be so cold!”
ice cubes rattle as he laughs
“ OHH YEAHH??!! Yeah, they are pretty cold.”
“Oh, haha. Well I’ve got to tell you, that one you did, the uh, Kool-Aid…jammers? I think it was? Anyways you were, it was brilliant, you just, you broke through that wall and everyone was just so happy, and the kids they were laughing and -”
“Alright Diane why don’t you go ahead and take your place…Kool-Aid guy, you know what, can I just call you Kool? It would make things a lot easier on the set.”
“OHH YEAHH??!! You’re right, it probably would”
“Cool.”
“What?”
“No I was just, well, never mind. Anyways, so your motivation for this is you’ve had a really long, hard day at work, and your just going to burst through the door and make a bee-line for the kitchen. But once you get into the kitchen you’ll meet your wife, Diane, and almost immediately notice how sparkling clean everything is. The anger starts to lift and that’s when you deliver the line ‘Wow, my erasers really are magic, honey.’ How do you feel about that, you feeling confident?”
“OHHH YEAHHH!”
“Alright then, I think we’re ready to get things started. If you could just take your place outside of the other wall, uh, yep, right over there. Okay, annnnnnnnnd, ACTION!”
Diane is seen talking to her “child”, Timmy
“I sure hope your father gets home soon, this room is sure to brighten his day.”
Doorknob starts to turn slightly then suddenly all is lost in a cloud of flying plaster and dust as the Kool-Aid man bursts into the room.
“CUT! CUT! CUT! What the HELL is going on?”
“You told me to burst through the door”
“It’s just, you know what, it’s a fucking expression, okay? Have you ever seen Mr. Clean tear down the wall of a god damn house in a commercial? Maybe in your commercials, maybe in a world where kids are so hyped up on your sugary, corn syrup insides that they think destruction is great, but in the world of Mr. Clean Magic Erasers, this isn’t okay. Get Jackson in here, we’re moving on to the Pillsbury commercial. JACKSON?!”
Timmy is seen jumping up and down and laughing in the background
To Be Continued…
