“Listen Stacey. I don’t know how to tell you this, but I can’t see you anymore.”

“What? What’re you talking about? Is there someone else?”

“Well, yeah…there is”

“No, wait, I can change really, I can be like her! We can work things out and-“

“Well, maybe if you just gained a little weight and, uh, wore your pants up a little higher.”

Stacey pulls up pants

“Like this?”

“Yeah, yeah, that looks good. Now, how good are you at knitting?”

“Well, I mean I’ve tried it once or twice…”

“Yeah, and start driving that minivan around.”

“Well, I mean I don’t know if I can do that, it’s my moms so-“

“Yeah, I bet it is, and once you get the van you can give me a ride to soccer practice”

“How about we just go to the movies or-“

“DO YOU WANT THIS TO WORK OR NOT?”

“Well yeah, you know I do, it’s just”

“What? Are you gonna call my parents?”

“Uhm…I mean…maybe?”

“Oh yeah, you should call my parents, only if I’m bad though, Mrs. Smith”

“Well we could- wait….Mrs. Smith?”

Minivan door slams

“Stacey, I’m back from knitting class!”